| do you ever worry that you won't find someone who will love you as much as someone else once did?
i'm really worried actually... |
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| i love the moment when you finally figure out something that's been bugging you for a long time...it's just like in cartoons when a big light bulb turns on above a character's head and then he smiles :D
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| today reminded me of a few years ago when i felt frustrated about doing stuff for other people who never appreciated it...and i thought i had it tough...
my xue chang is the most hardworking and diligent person that i've met in a long time...he works around the clock on both his own projects and projects for other people because he really cares about his research. he willingly and happily helps everyone who asks because he's that type of person...and a LOT of people continually ask him for help...he spends time teaching the newbies even the most basic techniques because he wants everyone to learn things properly so that in the future, their own experiments will always succeed...sometimes i just want to understand more quickly so that he can rest and quit having to explain everything...we go out for lunch n coffee or bao bing even tho he's got tons to do cuz he knows it's my summer...basically he doesn't expect me to work too hard and he doesn't want me to get bored...tmrw he's teaching teachers some current lab techniques so that they can share them with their students...and on friday he's reporting recent progress at the hospital...despite all this extra stuff, his proposals and research bring in most of the lab's money...he definitely doesn't get enough credit for everything he does, yet somehow he gets reprimanded for not paying enough attention to two of the new students in the lab...and then he was depressed :(
it's people like him who inspire me to learn...and it's quite discouraging n dismal when inspiring people are depressed :( |
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| i wake up whenever i feel like it...i go to work pretty late, and go out for lunch as soon as i get there...i don't even work a full 8 hour day...
despite all this i don't see myself spending the rest of my life in a lab. so where does that put me and what does that mean?
my xue chang complains about how the other members of the lab simply see lab work as a job, and they fail to feel responsible for other lab tasks which he thinks they should care about. and it anoys him when he's working his ass off and everyone else is half-assing it...
i definitely understand where he's coming from, cuz i've felt that way before too...it's awful to feel passionately about something when others who are involved couldn't care less...but since i definitely can't agree with how he feels toward research, i can see why all the xue jie's just want to get things done and go home...though i wouldn't want to be like them...i wouldn't want to be someone that gives others reasons to mutter about...although it seems like something that would be hard to avoid...
pharm-school? i've been told that there's not much room to grow after becoming a pharmacist...ur starting salary is basically the salary you'd have when you retire...that's a pretty sad thought...someone told me he had a friend who got bored as a pharmacist and went back to med school...wouldn't that be the biggest waste of time and money? but would i really want to be a doctor? i don't even like blood or needles or wounds...
bleh i wish i could just fast forward and see which decisions are the right ones...wouldn't it be nice to find out where ur final destination is?
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| summer television has taught me one thing
i'm keeping my eye out for a mr. perfect who is heroic and a super dreamy surgeon, last name shephard :D there's one in lost and grey's anatomy, so that means there must be a thousand in real life right?
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